Allow us to introduce ourselves...

... we're your worst nightmare.

The smart one:

Code name: Mr Burns
Loves: A good fight
Hates: Ageism

The hot one:

Code name: Leo
Defining personality trait: Naïve optimism
Main ambition: To be really, really famous. Is the only person to have been rejected from every reality show in the English-speaking world.

The girl:

Code name: Ms Argyle
Nationality: Finnish.
Quote: "Argle!"

The ethnic one:

Actual name: Abdul Alhazred
Occupation: Author and motivational speaker
Currently working on the much anticipated sequel to the Necronomicon. It will, in order to appeal to the Dan Brown-reading demographic, be written in code. Very simple code.
Quote: "I wear the niqab because it empowers me."
Underwear: yes.


The funny one:

Code name: Scott
Likes: Long walks on the beach, killing humans.
So what happened: "Well, I went into hospital for simple hip replacement surgery. But, you know, the hip bone's connected to the backbone, the backbone's connected to the arm bone, the... you get my drift. They said it was "complications", but I think the doctors just got a bit replacement-happy."

Darlene:

Not at all part of a troupe of crime-fighting babes along with her sisters Arlene, Charlene, Marlene and Earlene. Not at all.