Monday, December 14, 2009

With apologies to mr Cash

The kick nearly tore the door off its hinges. Framed in the doorway stood a dusty, disheveled-looking man in a hat, brandishing a long bullwhip.
"I'm looking for the man who shot my Pa", he growled.
The silence went on for some time. Finally, someone carefully raised their hand.
"Could you possibly be a little more specific? It's just that we've all shot a substantial number of people over the years, and..."
"I'm looking for the man who shot my Pa in the head."
Silence.
"With a gun."
"In 1978."
"July 24th."
Finally, Leo spoke up.
"Wouldn't this maybe be easier to work out if you told us your Pa's name, or maybe described him a bit?"
If the man in the hat was embarrassed, he didn't show it.
"His name was Hugo Schnozzwinkel. He had glasses and a hat."
"Oh, I think I shot that one. It was in Reno, right?" Mr Burns grinned.
"You bastard! Why'd you do it? Just to watch him die?"
"Pretty much. Well, he did cut in line for the bathroom..."
The coalition smiled approvingly. Random killings are always fun. However, for some reason the stranger didn't seem to agree. He cracked his whip and bellowed:
"Stand up and fight like a man!"
There was a flash of blue from Mr Burns' fingertips, and the stranger disappeared out of this world.
"Never fight like a man, " Mr Burns smiled as he raised his coffee mug (made, of course, from the skull of a slain enemy) in a toast, "fight like an evil overlord!"

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